PSA:Turn Signals for Dummies

7 out of 10 people don't know how to properly use turn signals, at least that's how it seems on the road. Are you one of them?

Okay, can we talk about turn signal etiquette for a second? I’m unreasonable, but I expect people to use their turn signals properly.  There’s a lot of annoying drivers on the road, and those who don’t understand how turn signals work are right up there at the top. These are the worst offenders:

1.     Just don’t use them—they expect everyone around them to be mind readers and figure out where they are going on their own.

2.     Put it on and immediately start moving over—just because you put your turn signal on, it doesn’t mean I have to slam on my brakes to let you in front of me. You still have to wait until its clear to merge into my lane.

3.     Put it on after they’ve already braked –someone needs to explain to these people the purpose of the turn signal is to signify to people you will be braking to turn. It doesn’t do much good to put it on after you’ve already slammed on your brakes without warning to turn.

4.     Put it on too early—they’re turning in 5 blocks, but they put their turn signal on now leaving everyone in said 5-block radius perpetually anticipating when they’re actually going to turn.

5.     Put it on too late—you’re waiting to pull out of a side street and a car is coming so you wait.  They get all the way to the turn and as they turn their wheel, they put their turn signal on.  If only there was some way of knowing they would be turning so you could have pulled out 5 minutes ago.

6.     Leave it on for eternity—while these people are better than the ‘don’t use them at all’ crowd, they are annoying to be behind and should they need to turn that way again, you’ll be unprepared for when they finally do brake and turn from all the miles of them crying wolf.

7.     Overuse it – you don’t need to put your turn signal on when you’re driving one way circles in a parking garage.  I think I’m smart enough to gather you won’t be making a right hand turn into a concrete wall.

Please, for the love of God, if you’re going to be a functioning member of society, learn to use your turn signals properly. If you still don’t understand, we’ll get work on writing Turn Signals for Dummies, and in the meantime, call an Uber.