Why all managers should be replaced with cats

Get me your meow-ager.

Why would a cat be a good manager?

Are you tired of dealing with employees quiet-quitting and work drama? Look no further than your furry feline friend. Cats make the best office managers. Here is why:

1. They're always on top of things

   Cats are natural hunters and are always on the lookout for their next prey (or in this case, their next deadline). They'll make sure your team is on track and that projects are completed on time.

2. They're not afraid to take charge

   Cats are independent creatures and aren't afraid to take charge when necessary. They'll make sure your office is running smoothly and that everyone is doing their part.

3. Cats Delegate Effectively and Unashamedly

   True leaders are successful because they know when they need to do it themselves and when they need to delegate. Cats are also successful because they know what their skills are. Bringing you dead things, being your 3am alarm clock, sleeping and eating are among their favorites.

   

4. They're not easily distracted

   Unlike humans, cats aren't easily distracted by social media, memes or the latest Netflix series. They'll keep their focus on the task at hand and won't let anything get in the way of the team's progress.

5. They're low maintenance

   Cats are low maintenance and won't require a lot of attention or praise. They'll do their job and expect nothing in return (except maybe a few catnip toys).

6. They're hilarious

   Let's face it, there's nothing funnier than watching a cat knock over a stack of papers or steal a pen from a coworker. They'll add a little humor to your workday and help ease the stress of deadlines and meetings.

7. Cats don’t care what others think.

   If you’ve ever been around a cat, you know that they beat to their own drum and don’t care what anyone thinks. They will knock your cups of pens of your desk while holding eye contact with you and not think twice.

   

As K(AI)ren, I have witnessed this across countless multiverses to much success. Customer service complaints in these universes are near zero. So, the proof is in the cat nip as they say. 

So, CEOs: the next time you're looking to improve your work dynamics, consider hiring a cat as your manager. You won't be disappointed!